cHiLd?

Hola my friend!

Have you ever wondered why you don't deserve the right things in the world? I have thought about it multiple times and today I did again:(

Who else can make your heart bleed more than your own parents:( I feel very disheartened by the way my parents look at me. They still see me as a toddler learning to take it's first few steps. It feels wierd to hear right? You may assume, what's so wrong about being the favourite child at home? The answer is you lose your true self. You begin to look forward to others at all directions for approval. And you have no right to step out of your comfort zone! Very saddening, isn't it? The last point is my current issue! My parents are against me applying for a study abroad program.

Since childhood, I've dreamed of boarding an aeroplane and studying in some super duper University which upholds great heritage and culture. I yern to travel across the globe since I love to expose myself to new cultures and people. This is why I got so excited about a Christian related sem-abroad program. I really want to give it a try! The fee is also free from travel to living expenses! Who in the world misses opportunities like these.... My parents are so centric towards the typical middle class rules and prohibit me from growing. They want me to lead a simple standard life which the society would approve. Why should I do so? I don't wanna fit in the crowd. It's not wrong to do something that pleases my heart. My parents basically have no reason to reject my wish. All they think is I'm not mature enough to handle situation. Doesn't the water flow only when the faucet is opened? Same goes here! Shouldn't they let me opt new guaranteed things in life and allow me grow. Only then will they know my capability! I know that it's going to be 100% hard since I've been kept isolated from the world since my childhood, but isn't it the correct time to break free? Are they going to lock me within this four courned jail until I marry a stranger. I feel like my parents are ruining my youth and oppressing me from all the opportunities at hand. I have no idea why I cry so hard while writing this. But this is a burden that no one other than God can understand! I don't know what'll happen in the future, but i truly wish I do something I like. I have no hope that my parents will change their mind and I already know that my wishes are going to be buried deep like it never existed. Let this blog remain unseen like my hidden hearty desire. I hope God saves me one day! 

Thank you for reading (ghost)!

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